sometimes i’m sweating

and sometimes i'm cold.

i'm having strange cravings.

spoonfuls of olive oil. 

nutritional yeast.


am i pregnant with the next part of my life?

is the bulge in my belly 

a creative embryo 

pulsating with the life force of what i'm currently dreaming?

sometimes i'm hot.

like a quality gas stove

when each blue flame is equally lit to perfection 


the heat grows steadily as it's cranked up. 

i still experience random air drops into my bloodstream

from who the fuck knows where.

orgasms feel necessary

for my overALL lubrication


and lively-ness.

i can tell when i'm in a self-pleasuring cycle

cuz my body hurts in new places. 

(it really IS easier to reach the places deep within the VAG

with a penis)

i am grateful to be flexible. 

i seem to get my body in to quite the pretzel

to reach the depths. 


am i any closer to knowing what's actually happening in my body?

not really.