what to do about estrogen?

holy fuck 

i wonder what the hell is happening to me sometimes.

like i'm in a top loader washing machine

getting swished 

back and forth.

random weird things hurting.

random weird thoughts. 


what are the options?

add hormones?

just deal?

get all of your lady parts removed? 

drink heavily?

start doing (if you haven't already) mass amounts of drugs?

this force

creeps (or sometimes SLAMS) in.

changing how i smell.

what i want to do

or NOT do.

who i want 

or DON'T want to be around.

i started a 2 week Real Food Reset.

basically just eating whole things. no animal products or packaged things or alcohol.


it's been a little harder than i thought

tho quite light-shedding

on how jammed in some habits i am.

AND how i need a variety of many things in my life.

(this i already knew- tho my body is speaking a little louder about it. ha!) 

i'm doing this 

with the intention of resetting some things

giving my liver a breather

and hopefully

feeling mo better 

mo balanced 

and less tossed around by the forces within.

what i've noticed

is that if you really want something

you have to actually want it-

which is woven to and with Commitment.

(random tongue twister- Committing to Consistent Curiosity- Creates :))


desire is NOT a dirty word

(but commitment sometimes is! ha!) 

it is a motivating force

spring-boarding us

to wherever-we-want-to-be-ness.

some things


take time to find the way

the answers

the untangling of the foundation of change

that we thought was earthquake/hurricane-proof.

but if the Want

is worth it

it's worth the wait.

the journey 

the adventure 

to find it- meet it- be it.


commitment to consistent curiosity.

and woven in to THAT

is the option to change your mind.

the well-worth-it-journey

To Your Desire

may end up landing you in a place you never expected

because curiosity is playful and UNattached to outcome

and you'll be so freakin' stoked you made it.

only to find a New Desire 

sending you on another fab adventure

to places that are mapped out as you go.

who'da thought 

the absolute DESIRE 

to figure myself out

would've landed me here?